What Women Think About Deepika’s Cleavage

Written by me

Awesome Women

Deepika Padukone 18 WallpaperTOI Entertainment, the celebrity news and gossip wing of The Times of India, the largest Indian English language daily saw an undue amount of action last week. Their Twitter account had posted a video clip of Bollywood actor Deepika Padukone at an event, highlighting her cleavage with a red circle with the headline ‘OMG: Deepika Padukone’s Cleavage Show!’

The 28-year-old actress called out on them by tweeting “YES!I am a Woman. I have breasts AND a cleavage!You got a problem!!??” She further added, “Don’t talk about Woman’s Empowerment when YOU don’t know how to RESPECT Women!”

The tweet was soon deleted, but TOI Entertainment went further in digging their own grave when they replied ‘You look so great that we wanted to make sure everyone knew!’ They also came up with an open letter in which they justified their stance by saying that she is a model who had previously…

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Finding Fanny is like Chicken Curry

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This is the story of how five people from a fictional village called Pocolim in Goa set off to find the love of Ferdie’s (Naseeruddin Shah) life. Apart from Ferdie, there are the two widows Angie (Deepika Padukone) and Rosie (Dimple Kapadia), Don Pedro (Pankaj Kapur) and Savio De Gama (Arjun Kapoor). Since there must be a reason for the other four people to be present on this road trip, Homi Adjania manages to bring out whim/airheadedness (Angie), driving skills (Savio), unsuccessful prevention of intercourse (Rosie) and car ownership/ass-lust/artistic inspiration (Don Pedro). This search party sets off to find Stephanie Fernandes (Fanny). This is a unique name, especially in Goa and therefore they have no problems finding her original as well as relocated address.

As if the beauty of Goa wasn’t reminder enough, there’s an alcoholic Russian to remind you where exactly this is happening. There’s humour in the film too—after every joke, there are a few seconds given for the audience to register the joke and laugh. Although it did seem like these were brief moments of silence at the tragedy of this film calling itself a satire.

Don Pedro’s obsession with Rosie strips naked in front of you because otherwise you might not notice. In a completely shocking twist, we realise that the artist was only interested in his muse till he created his piece of art. This leads said muse to have feelings for Ferdie, the only other single person of her age in the village. To give depth to the characters and justify why they’re going to pair up together, there are glimpses of their past lives.

Since Don Pedro’s utility is quickly diminishing, he’s conveniently shot in the forehead and discarded into the ocean without anyone even realising that. Now, I do not have a problem with such conveniences for scriptwriters. But usually, filmmakers are decent enough to provide an explanation for it, by mentioning Sajid Khan’s name in the credits.

When the remaining four finally find Fanny, Ferdie assumes that she would look the same as she did forty six years ago. This is one of the many clues that Pocolim is in fact, not a regular village, but a special one for slow humans. He then realises that Fanny has died, but quickly gets over her when he sees how fat and promiscuous she had been. He then turns his attention to the next best thing: his friend’s widowed (estranged) wife, Rosie, who was had been living a short walk away from him.

After everyone is convenienty hooked up, Angie decides to ignore the voice of reason and enforces the conclusion upon us that true love is worth finding. The actual conclusion is that people don’t look the same after forty six years. Also, if you want to hook up with people from your neighbourhood, just go for it instead of devicing elaborate road trips.

This is not to say that there are no redeeming qualities in the film. Naseeruddin Shah, Dimple Kapadia and Pankaj Kapur gave brilliant performances. Deepika and Arjun gave mediocre ones but looked great doing those. What was missing was a story to hold it all together. That is why, in many ways, Finding Fanny is like a chicken curry with an ideal combination of flavours. Only, the chicken is undercooked.

D’Crepes Cafe – A Hidden Treat

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Image by Ameya Naik Image by Ameya Naik

CCDs are passe. Starbucks is overrated. Everything else is either too expensive or unwelcoming. Which is why you need a D’Crepes. Even though it makes incorrect use of the preposition “D'” in the name, it is one of the least pretentious cafes. Tucked away in a corner at Hiranandani Meadows, Thane, it’s quite a small place with a few books, a guitar, pictures from what could presumably be France and a few cosy tables. But what makes D’Crepes special is the feeling of warmth you get from the staff. And, of course, the food and beverages.

This place has a quite a quaint collection of savoury crepes. There’s one with tandoori chicken and onions, one with noodles and scrambled eggs and one with creamed spinach with garlic and corn. They’re all quite delicious, and the crepes are always light and fluffy.

The pizzas and pastas are…

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Lebanese food at Picadilly, Colaba

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It was a regular sultry Mumbai day, and I was on a shopping excursion at Colaba Causeway with my friends when we saw the shawarma at Picadilly’s window. It’s very hard to remember how the hot grilling meat enticed us on such a sweltering day. In retrospect, I am glad it did (in case you were wondering, this place does have an air-conditioned section).

 
I’ve been here several times since, and I must recommend the Lebanese chicken shawarma wrap and the falafel wrap. Their hummus is quite delicious too. While you wait for your food to arrive, you get a small bowl of pickled cucumber and beetroot, which is great to munch on without filling up too much of your appetite. If you come on a hot sunny day, I do recommend the iced tea here. Having tasted the iced teas of a LOT of restaurants, I can tell…

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